Lexicon ·
fashionably late
adjective phrase
- Stated meaning
- Arriving slightly after the agreed time, as a sign of ease rather than of disregard.
- Operating meaning
- Lateness declared as a trait, which turns a delay into a personality and leaves the early party nothing to object to except the other person.
- Origin
- Party etiquette, where arriving a little after the stated hour spared the host a guest who turned up before the room was ready.
- Antonyms
- punctual
July 22, The Raven. I arrived early. She arrived about 10 minutes late, and the form entered both as the standing pattern. The phrase itself was not used; the pattern was.
The phrase belongs to the party. The Emily Post Institute still asks guests to arrive at or shortly after the stated time (opens in a new window), “fifteen minutes or less,” and not before it. The guest a little after the hour spares the host the one who rings while the room is still being set. In 1922 Post gave the host a limit of her own: wait twenty minutes (opens in a new window), then serve, because waiting longer would be “showing lack of consideration to many for the sake of one.” The margin was small, understood by everyone invited, and owed to a third person, the host.
The dating market kept the phrase and reversed the advice. A men’s guide says that showing up on time (opens in a new window) “signals reliability and presence.” A women’s guide says that punctuality (opens in a new window) “exhibits respect for your date’s time.” Neither guide sells lateness. It survives without one, as a disclosure made by the person who is late, about themselves.
At a table for 2 there is no host to spare. The margin is paid by the other party, in minutes, standing. Declared in advance, the delay becomes a trait, and a trait cannot be asked to arrive sooner. It can only be accepted or declined, along with the person who holds it.
Amended October 8, 2026. The file has entered this 6 times. A.: about 10 minutes on July 22 and 15 on July 31. F.: 19 minutes on September 26, after an estimate of 10, 11 on September 28, 20 on October 4 against a time she gave 10 minutes ahead of the time agreed, and 33 on October 5. On September 26 F. also said she is usually late, which was accurate 4 times. My side of the column reads early, 15 minutes early, 15 minutes early, 10 minutes early, at the time she gave and 6 minutes late, the first by an amount the form did not record. On the 5 dates with both figures, 132 minutes passed between the 2 arrivals, and 40 of them were my own arrangement. Both shelves teach arriving on time. On October 5 I was 6 minutes late and she was 33, and neither of us mentioned it.