Lexicon ·
serial dating
noun, usually in the phrase 'serial dater'
- Stated meaning
- Seeing one person at a time, and giving each a full hearing before seeing anyone else.
- Operating meaning
- Exclusivity on a short lease: one person at a time, each account closed before the next evening is held, at a turnover the advice columns file as a warning.
- Origin
- Two shelves. Research uses it for the dater who sees one person at a time, against the multi-dater who sees several; advice columns use it for a person who goes through partners in quick succession, as a warning.
- Antonyms
- multi-dating
August 31. From April 20 to August 13, A. was the only woman I dated or courted, and nobody else was being pursued at the same time. Her account closed on August 18. Thirteen days later I made first contact with C., and the series resumed. The phrase was not used.
Serial dating has two definitions, and they point in opposite directions. In a 2025 paper comparing the two kinds of dater (opens in a new window), a serial dater is one who sees one person at a time, set against a multi-dater who sees several. Across 2 studies and 460 participants, observers rated the serial daters as more genuine, more intentional and more interested in commitment. The older phrase is serial monogamy (opens in a new window), several successive short-term marriages over a lifetime, and in the research the dater keeps the monogamy.
The advice columns kept the series. There a serial dater is someone who, in eharmony’s wording (opens in a new window), dates “several people in succession and never for a long time,” and the term is written as a warning to whoever is currently in the succession. One list (opens in a new window) runs to 17 signs, among them that they are masters of the grand gesture and that they always end the relationship. The two shelves describe the same calendar. One counts the people on it at any given moment and finds 1. The other counts them across a season and finds a pattern.
Under load, one at a time is a rule about overlap and says nothing about speed. A series can run at any rate, and each person in it is the only one for as long as it lasts. Each evening is judged alone, which spares it a comparison with anyone else, and the judgment can be completed in a single sitting.
From April 20 to August 13, A. was the only woman I dated or courted, and on the research’s terms that reads as commitment. A.’s account closed on August 18 and C.’s opened on August 31, 13 days later. The next 3 accounts ran 11 days between them: 1 evening for B., 7 days for C. from first contact to the message that closed it, and 3 for D. The interval between closing C.’s and opening D.‘s was 1 day. On the advice columns’ terms, that is the pattern. It was not strictly serial either. C.’s date was set on September 1, and B. was met by accident on September 3 with that date 2 days away, so the series after A. overlapped itself in its first week.