The more emotional party

This report covers a third date with the subject referred to here as F., held on Sunday, October 4, at 7:00 pm, at an amphitheater in Phoenix, for a Wu-Tang Clan concert. The date ran 360 minutes, arrival to parting, including about 90 minutes in my car outside her home. The cost was $195.66, paid in full by me.

The date was proposed by me at her car on September 28 and accepted there. E.’s account closed on October 3, the day before it. This is now the only open account on file.

Summary of charges

• Duration: 360 minutes
• Travel, mine: 59 minutes, round trip
• Travel, F.’s: 35 minutes
• Questions asked by me: 12
• Questions asked by F.: 15
• Phone checks by F.: 0
• Phone checks by me: 0
• Out-of-pocket costs: $195.66. Ticket fees, drinks, a tour shirt for her and a hot dog for her.
• Amount contributed by F.: $0.00
• Amount requested of F.: $0.00
• Follow-up: yes at filing

Cost per hour in person: $32.61. This arc: $611.32 across 3 dates. All subjects: $3,657.16 across 3,515 minutes in person.

Minute 0: arrival

The time agreed was 7:30 pm. She later said she would be there at 7:00. I arrived at 7:00. She arrived at 7:20.

Against the time she gave, she was 20 minutes late. Against the time first agreed, she was 10 minutes early. The form records both. On September 26 she said she is usually late, and this is the first of 3 dates on which she arrived ahead of the time agreed.

I drove. She took an Uber to meet me.

A room where nobody can be asked anything

On September 8 this file described a concert as 135 minutes of standing beside a person at a volume that turns conversation into a series of interruptions. On September 28 I proposed one to F. anyway.

Questions asked: 12 by me, 15 by her. Twenty-seven is the most recorded at any table on this site, 2 more than September 5 and September 26. Fifteen equals September 5 for the most asked by the other party.

Seventeen encounters had recorded a question count before this one. This is the eighteenth, the fifth to come out uneven, and the third in the other party’s favor. The band on the question count is 50%, 12 is inside it, and the row balances.

The count does not separate the amphitheater from the car. Some share of the 27 was asked in a parked vehicle at conversational volume, and I did not keep the split. The finding on concerts from September 8 is neither confirmed nor withdrawn.

Across 3 dates she has asked 36 questions and I have asked 32. She is the first subject on file to lead that column across more than 1 date.

Silences broken: 0 and 0. None started.

Phone checks: 0 and 0 in 360 minutes. The file now holds 10 phone checks in 3,515 minutes.

The paid column

The tickets were free. The fee for them was $13.00.

The rest of the $195.66 was bought inside the venue. Drinks came to $121.10. I bought her a shirt from the tour, $51.56, and a hot dog, $10.00. Those 2 lines, $61.56, were bought for her and were not shared.

The contributed column reads $0.00. She paid for her Uber to the venue. That fare is not on this form for the same reason my fuel is not: travel is entered in minutes, and the paid column is what was spent on the evening.

The requested column reads $0.00, as it has for all 6 subjects.

Physical initiation

During the concert she reached for my hand repeatedly. She stroked the back of my neck, my beard and my shoulders. She leaned back for kisses.

Physical initiation: 1 and 1. The test on the row asks whether both parties were in the column, and on this date both were. The counts were not kept. By my account it was close to even, and hers may have been the larger figure.

On September 28 this column read 2 and 0, and the row failed. Six days later it balances.

Ninety minutes in the car

I drove her home after the concert. We sat in my car outside her home for about 90 minutes and talked about our experiences dating, and about what kind of people each of us is in a relationship.

She said she tends to be the more logical one in how she approaches dating and relationships. She said that, contrary to common opinion, men are more emotional about relationships than women, at least in her experience. [paraphrase]

I agreed, on my own experience, which is a sample of my relationships and of nobody else’s. In those I have usually been the more emotional party, whether or not I told the other person.

Positions disclosed: 1 and 2. Both of hers are on the record as hers, and qualified by her. Mine is entered here as a fact about the man keeping this file.

This file is kept by that party. Since April 20 it has entered 3,515 minutes and $3,657.16, and stated each of them as a currency, a duration or a count. The panel has 11 rows. None of them is a feeling. The party who has usually had more of them is the one who chose the rows.

Two days before this date, I cancelled a date with E. in a message that said I wanted to be upfront so neither of us wastes time. That message is filed. The feeling it reported is entered in it as a sentence and nowhere as a figure.

The fourth date

In the car we talked about seeing each other again soon. No date was set there.

She asked me to call her when I got home. I called. On that call we set a fourth date, for the evening of Wednesday, October 7.

Follow-up requested: 1 and 1. We both raised it, and she asked for the call it was set on. On September 26 and September 28 the row read 1 and 0.

Findings

Questions: 12 and 15. The most at any table here, with an unknown share asked in a parked car.

Phone checks: 0 and 0, in 360 minutes.

Silences broken: 0 and 0. None started.

Travel: 59 and 35. Ninety-four minutes of road between us, the same figure as September 28. The band on the travel row is 40%, and 35 is inside it.

Arrival: 7:00 pm, mine. 7:20 pm, hers. Late against the time she gave and early against the time agreed.

Physical initiation: 1 and 1. Counts not kept.

Positions disclosed: 1 and 2. One of hers concerned a whole category of people and was qualified by her own experience. Mine concerned me.

Items bought for her alone: 2, $61.56.

Rationalizations recorded: 0.

Contributed by F.: $0.00. Requested of F.: $0.00.

Proposed the date and chose the venue: both mine. The split needs one party in each, and it fails.

Reciprocity: 3 of 5 columns balanced, the question count, the travel and the physical initiation.

Costs

• Ticket fees: $13.00
• Drinks: $121.10
• Tour shirt, for her: $51.56
• Hot dog, for her: $10.00
• Total: $195.66

Cost per hour in person: $32.61, against $62.43 across everything this ledger has recorded, this date included. It is the cheapest hour in this arc, and the date is the longest in it.

Running position, this arc: 3 of 4 dates held, $611.32 out of pocket, 710 minutes in person, 268 minutes of road between the 2 of us across 3 dates, $0.00 contributed by the other party and $0.00 requested of her.

Running position, all subjects: $3,657.16 out of pocket, 3,515 minutes in person.

Status

The follow-up field reads yes. The fourth date was set by telephone the same night, on a call she asked me to make. It is set for October 7.

One account is open. Recoverable: $0.00.