zombieing

Dictionary.com (opens in a new window) names the term after “a classic horror figure that rises from the dead,” and defines it as the moment when a person who previously ghosted someone “suddenly resurfaces and reaches out.” The return “can take many forms, from a casual ‘u up?’ text to an Instagram comment or unexpected call.” News coverage of the word, by the same page, dates back to at least 2017. No coiner is named.

The trend pieces have not agreed on the returning party’s manners. Dictionary.com has the person reappearing “without acknowledging their disappearance or apologizing for it.” In September 2017 Metro (opens in a new window) had granted the opposite. Rebecca Reid wrote that the returner “might blame work or a personal drama, but they’ll acknowledge that they bailed,” and gave the version with “no apology or excuse” a name of its own, submarining. The same conduct has been filed under 2 words, separated by an apology that one of the sources says is never offered.

Under load, the return is written as though it were the next message in sequence. The thread still shows the dates, so the gap is visible to both parties and acknowledged by neither. The returning party has made one decision, to resume, and leaves the other with 2: whether to answer, and whether to ask. Asking puts the recipient in the position of raising the disappearance, which reads as a grievance. Answering without asking ratifies an account in which nothing happened. Either way the work of explaining the absence falls to the party who was owed the explanation.