Lexicon ·
Mr. Right
noun phrase
- Stated meaning
- The one ideal partner, who is worth waiting for until he arrives.
- Operating meaning
- A vacancy held open for a candidate who has not applied, against which every applicant is scored and found short.
- Origin
- Merriam-Webster dates the phrase to 1796, in the sense of a man who would make the perfect husband. In 1995 it was the subtitle's last word on The Rules.
- Antonyms
- settling
Merriam-Webster (opens in a new window) dates the phrase to 1796 and defines it as “a man who would make the perfect husband.” Dictionary.com (opens in a new window) has since widened the post to “an ideal romantic partner or potential spouse,” and notes that the title can be changed to Miss, Ms. or Mrs. as required. The vacancy has been advertised for 230 years, and neither dictionary records it filled.
In 1995 the phrase became a deliverable. The Rules was subtitled “Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right,” and in 1996 The Christian Science Monitor (opens in a new window) described it as “a collection of 35 dos and don’ts for landing a husband,” resting on the idea that “man pursues woman” and woman must play hard to get. One instruction it quoted was “You don’t settle.”
Psychology measured the belief underneath. A 1998 study (opens in a new window) defined “belief in romantic destiny” as the view that partners “are either meant for each other or they are not,” and followed couples over time. Among believers, early satisfaction predicted how long a relationship lasted more strongly, and the belief “was associated with avoidance coping strategies.”
Under load, Mr. Right is a requisition with no candidate attached. The position is specified before anyone applies, so every applicant is scored against a man nobody has met, and the shortfall is booked to the applicant. The vacancy can stay open indefinitely at no recorded cost. Its cost is entered only when someone fills it with less than the specification, and that entry is filed under another word.