be the prize

By June 2003 the instruction already had a history. A poster on the seduction newsgroup alt.seduction.fast (opens in a new window) described its birth as a business decision. Some businessmen had looked at the men the advice of the day did not serve, “and realized that this was a huge untapped market. So the ‘creating your own reality/you are the prize’ movement was born.” By November 2005 the group’s FAQ carried it as a line item: “Know that you are the prize.”

The phrase is still sold, and the arithmetic has been simplified. A current men’s site defines the relationship prize (opens in a new window) as “the higher value and higher power partner in a relationship,” and settles who holds it in one sentence: “The one who chooses is always the prize.”

Under load, being the prize is a valuation set by the holder before anyone has bid. It asks for no change in conduct, only in the account kept of it. An evening that goes well confirms the price, and one that goes badly is booked as the other party’s loss. Women’s content sells the same position under other names, as keeping some mystery and letting him chase. When both parties have bought it, there are 2 prizes at the table and nobody assigned to win either of them.