Lexicon ·
low effort
adjective phrase, also written 'low-effort'
- Stated meaning
- Putting little into a relationship, from short replies to plans left to the other person.
- Operating meaning
- Effort measured by the party who feels it is missing, against a quantity nobody has stated.
- Origin
- General English for something done with little effort, applied in the 2020s to partners, messages and dates, where it serves as both a complaint and a style.
- Synonyms
- minimal effort
- Antonyms
- princess treatment
August 13, by text. I ended it in a message that said we were “fundamentally misaligned on effort, intimacy, and where this is going,” and that I had “no more energy for effort.” The phrase was not used.
The phrase has no dictionary entry in this sense, and its nearest relative does. In November 2025 Cambridge added dry texting (opens in a new window): very short messages, sometimes one-word answers, “which may suggest the sender is not interested in the person they are texting.” Low effort is the same reading applied to everything else, the plans, the questions and the drive.
The market sells it in both directions. A 2026 article (opens in a new window) quotes a dating app’s relationship expert defining a minimal effort partner as “a person who does the bare minimum when it comes to their relationship,” and lists the signs. In September 2025 the same quality was a trend (opens in a new window), with couples “leaning into soft launches, slow burns, and relaxed vibes” and dating that reflected “our low-battery energy.”
Under load, effort is measured by the party who feels it is missing, against a quantity nobody has stated. It shows up only as a difference: the length of one reply against the other, who proposed the last date, whose drive was longer. Each side keeps its own figure. Low effort is what one party’s figure looks like from the other side, and the same evening can be logged as relaxed by one of them and as a sign by the other.
My message measured her effort against a quantity I had never stated. The figures were mine to state: 11 of 11 dates proposed by me, 995 minutes of travel against her 340, and $2,570.94 out of pocket against $0.00. Two days before it, I answered her week of shifts by dropping a few of the planned activities so she could get home when she needed to. The last effort the file records before the verdict on effort is mine, and it was a reduction.