Lexicon ·
stashing
noun, also verb (to stash)
- Stated meaning
- Keeping a partner hidden from one's friends, family and social media.
- Operating meaning
- A relationship kept off the books, so that it can be closed without a write-down anyone else sees.
- Origin
- Named by Ellen Scott in a column for Metro in August 2017, which claimed the coinage outright.
- Synonyms
- pocketing
- Antonyms
- hard launch
Metro (opens in a new window) named it on August 19, 2017, and said so: “Yes, we’re the ones who’ve just come up with a name for it.” The practice was one in which “someone is dating someone else, but has decided to hide them away from everyone in their life.” Cambridge Dictionary (opens in a new window) entered it within a year, citing that column, and Dictionary.com (opens in a new window) credits Ellen Scott and lists the three places a partner can be kept out of: friends, family, and “their social media.”
By 2019 the practice had a second name. A blog on polyamory (opens in a new window) defined pocketing as “when a partner won’t introduce you to any of their family, friends, or anybody who’s important to them,” and called it “The newest term I just learned.” The hard launch, a partner posted in full, is the same decision taken the other way.
Under load, stashing keeps a relationship off the consolidated statement. It exists in one account, between two parties, and appears in no report anyone else reads. An arrangement nobody else has seen can be closed without a write-down anyone else notices, and that is the property being preserved. The hidden party can see the arrangement only from inside it, which is the one position from which it looks complete.