delulu

The word began as an insult. On a K-pop forum in 2014, a commenter dismissed the fans (opens in a new window) who paired 2 idols as “pretty much delulu,” and within 2 months Urban Dictionary had the noun: “a delusional fan girl/boy who believes they can/will end up with their favourite idol or celebrity.” The fan in question had no contact with the idol and no prospect of any. The word named a relationship conducted entirely from one side, and it was not said kindly.

TikTok turned it into a boast. By the end of 2023, videos with the word had more than 5 billion views (opens in a new window), and the definition had acquired a clause: “with delulu, the difference is you know you’re being unrealistic.” Young users say “delulu is the solulu” (opens in a new window) to manifest their wishes, and in 2025 the Cambridge Dictionary entered it as “believing things that are not real or true, usually because you choose to.” The insult had become a method.

There is research on the method’s side. Sandra Murray, John Holmes and Dale Griffin followed dating couples (opens in a new window) for a year and found that those who idealized each other most stayed together, grew more satisfied, and came to see themselves as their partners saw them. Love, they concluded, “is not blind, but prescient.” Every result came from 2 people idealizing one another. Delulu takes the same leap with 1. Under load, its self-awareness does the damage: a delusion that has already named itself has priced in every piece of evidence against it, and the other person cannot say anything it has not already laughed at.

My own entry is a reading, and it is on file. On August 1 I asked for the overnight she had raised herself and was told she would consider it and let me know. Then she sent me her August work schedule. I read it as an invitation to propose again, and the form recorded that as a reading and not a fact, which is the self-awareness clause, filed in advance. It changed nothing. On August 7 I used the same schedule to find an evening she was working and delivered dinner for her and her children at 18:00. A month of shifts said there was no room, and I read it closely enough to find some.